Richard O'Nstruction

 - That's all very nice, but how do you actually sell communism? What's the elevator pitch for your ideals?

- If you live in an apartment, you pay a pro-rata contribution for the elevator, don't you? Maybe you're old or handicapped and you use the elevator all the time even to go up to the first floor; maybe you're a fitness freak and you never use it; or maybe you know your shit and you go up the stairs and down with the elevator. But no-one asks you how often you actually use it, you pay for the elevator to be there and to function properly so you can use if it you want regardless of whether you end up using it. You can't opt out of contributing, and everyone trusts that you'll not spend your day going up and down in the elevator like an idiot. For some reason, people find it reasonable. That's socialism.

- And communism?

- Well, when you go visit friends I sincerely hope that they don't ask you to chip in for their elevator expenses.